By itself, more love isn’t going to fix your family. You need a better system.
One for people who are tired of trying so hard but getting no results.
THE TURN
You tried setting boundaries. You tried giving space. You tried “protecting your peace.” And somehow things got worse.
The problem isn’t effort. It’s the tools.
THREE LAYERS
One framework. Three layers.
Each one does what the others can’t.
THE VIRTUES
The traits we aggressively cultivate. Five shared qualities that bind families against any challenge.
THE LAWS
What we don’t allow. Six principles for navigating conflict without destroying the people involved.
THE OPERATIONS
What we do when it matters most. Concrete tools ranging from quiet confrontation to full legal intervention, plus affirmative practices that make the family worth fighting for.
REAL SITUATIONS
These and other scenarios walk through how ordinary family members, without any formal authority, use the framework to protect, confront, and restore.
Some of the scenarios you’ll recognize.
FAMILY MEMBER
Trying to convert everyone to their worldview
CAREGIVER
Quietly crossing financial lines
MARRIAGE
In crisis where walking away feels easier than staying
You don’t need everyone on board to start.
ONE PERSON
You can start all alone. And it still works.
The New American Family Code includes a phased action plan designed for one person acting alone. The system strengthens you first. Then it shows you how to expand that strength across your family, one relationship at a time.
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“We Can Fix This” is a short comprehensive guide for thinking through a hard family conversation before you have it.
Early Praise for The New American Family Code
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“As a high school teacher, I see students suffering the consequences of broken and unsupportive families every day. The New American Family Code delivers realistic steps anyone can implement to start the healing process. It is appropriate for any family dynamic and culture that wants to learn how to work together to build a strong supportive system for every member but doesn't know where to begin. It is not an easy, quick fix but demands personal responsibility in helping individuals learn to work together for the good of the whole family while respecting individualism. Noah's writing is clear and concise. It addresses the problem and offers a realistic solution if individuals are motivated enough to create positive changes that value every member of the family. He supports the long-established idea that everyone benefits when a strong family system works well.”
— Dr. Richard K. Ramos, Ed.D., Superintendent, Miami Unified School District
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“Dyer provided an amazing framework on how to build an emotionally intelligent family structure. Too often we fall victim to the me-centered emotional arguments and offenses of our family members. In his writing, Dyer fleshes out some very difficult family dynamics to illustrate how following The Code allows our families to ensure strength while addressing the unacceptable actions of family members.
The biggest takeaway I personally took from the book was that to fully implement The Code, you will need to fully commit to living The Code. Oftentimes we only apply rules, boundaries, or guidelines to people who have wronged us or are the perpetrating party, without holding ourselves to a common (higher) standard. To fully commit to this way of living, you have to hold yourself accountable to the shared Code and not excuse your way out of bad behavior.
This read will be extremely helpful for those who are navigating new family, trying to build relationships with estranged family members, and overall growth as a functioning member of the new norm in family dynamics.
This is a wonderful read for everyone who has a desire for family that can weather the storm and ensure that family trauma and drama is dealt with to ensure everyone heals and everyone grows to be better.”
— Charlotte Kelley, Special Needs Teacher
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"I wasn’t sure what to expect going into this book, but I’m really glad I picked it up. The New American Family Code gave me both the framework and the tools to improve my relationships with the people I love most—while staying true to my ideals as an American, a son, and a brother."
— Ian Bell, Military Pilot
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"and The New American Family Code provides a blueprint that includes virtues and rules that can help ease those transitions to a more peaceful self."
— Felicia Chew, Community Advocate
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“Noah Dyer’s The New American Family Code makes an important contribution. As he points out, too many American families are “stuck” in division, separation, and exclusion. Families were never meant to live this way. The Lord established the family, rooted in marriage between one man and one woman, as the foundational building block of society. We all know from experience that every family is broken, imperfect, and wounded. And yet, that does not excuse anyone from working to be part of the solution. Dyer reminds us that every member of every family has a God-given right to be included and welcomed in his/her own family—and a God-given obligation to contribute to healing their own family.
Dyer’s book is very well thought out and very well written. His understanding and practical wisdom are rooted in his own faith life and family life. Dyer is realistic—he knows that renewal of society depends on renewing one family at a time. He offers concrete and realistic steps toward being part of the solution in one’s own broken family.
Want to make a positive difference in your own family and in society? Noah Dyer lays out the basic principles and points the way. I strongly recommend this book for all adults and teenagers who want to be part of the solution!”
— Bishop Chris Marohn, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
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“It gave me a new perspective on relationships, experiences, and the dynamics that shape a family. Reading it truly felt like an adventure, one that encouraged me to reflect, explore, and see my family in a different way.
I strongly recommend this book to anyone who has ever questioned their relationship with certain family members or wondered why those relationships affect them the way they do. It may challenge you, but it may also give you a new lens through which to understand yourself and your family.”
— Bishop Bill Muhm, Archdiocese for the Military Services, USA
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